I realized that I'm pretty impatient.  I'm also not disciplined.

Yet another day in the exciting Life of Dan.

so i was typing this huge post and then i got kicked off my internet.  maybe i shouldn't be thinking or feeling the way i do right now.  i'm being unfair.

sometimes i hate me.

There are times where I just want to scream with everything I got, but my voice is already shot from screaming.

There are times where I feel like working with my hands will help the time pass, but they're too sore from things I hit from long ago.

There are times where I just want to fall asleep and wake up when everything passes by me, but I think that I've missed too much.

There are times where I wish I could choose how I feel about something, but it's hard to choose when I didn't have a choice to be involved.

There are times where I hate myself for being me.

There are times where I feel like I'm being unfair.

There are times when I feel like I'm hiding behind a fake face.

There are times when I feel like I'm losing a fight that I didn't start.

There are times when I feel like I don't deserve what I have.

There are times when I just yell out "why me!?"

There are times when I can't discern the truth from the lies.

There are times when I wish I could not be me, then the problems would go away.

God, give me the strength and the will to fight back.  Give me the wisdom to discern.  Give me the peace you offer and love to share to others.  God, give me reassurance.  Please heal me.

Are there days where you just wish you could fast-forward and not have to live them? 

::this day is one of those days::

Do you feel that there's something following you around, making you feel so down, but you just can't figure out what it is?

::this day is one of those days::

Do you ever feel like you're emotionally instable because you were fine one minute and upset the next?

::this day is one of those days::

I wish I could just curl up into a ball and hibernate untill tomorrow.  I don't feel like I'm strong enough, prepared enough, bold enough, or alert enough to take on the challenges that today is going to bring.  I just wish that I can pull out my imaginary vacation card and take today off to re-group a little bit.  I just need to get away from work, just a little bit, from craziness, from the torments and voices, from the lies and deceitfullness, from the imposing figures that try to bring me down.

I need Jesus.

You know, I was going to put some random, ambiguous song lyrics for my post but then I realized that they weren't very encouraging and they weren't of God.  Glad I have conviction.

I'm tired.  I woke up WAY tired and had a hard time staying awake.  I think I need a nap.

I need to escape to my room pretty soon.  It's the only place that I can find peace in my house.

I won't be seeing Kalin until wednesday.  It's amazing how we still continue to bond closer and closer when I can't seem to imagine us getting more and more comfortable with each other.  I like the fact that we're growing together through the Lord.

Kalin got baptised on Saturday night.  I was soooooo excited for her.  If she was able to see me she probably wouldn't have been as spooked out as she was because I'm sure I had that "i'msohappyforyouandIcan'thideit" look on my face.  And I also played that weekend.  I like how that worked out.

I can keep myself occupied until wednesday.  between work and school, time will go by pretty quickly.

Ok i'm crashin in my room.